IMHO

Who Needs A Man When You've Got A Stepladder?

Online once again, with the comfort of my laptop - not quite wi-fi, but good enough. :-) Will take this opportunity to post the first few entries of The BC Journals - a writing exercise and my semi-raw attempt at the "uprootal narrative."

Day 2
3 March 2006

I’ve found the answer to two of life’s most perplexing questions: a stepladder, and household bleach (it cleans most anything, from mold on the walls to dark stains inside a cruet).

Finally made the big move to BC last night: me, myself, and a whole lot of my worldly possessions…or at least those that could fit into my car. The trip up North was relatively uneventful, and I made it up to BC in exactly the estimated number of hours I’d planned, despite the plague of torturous tricyles that hog the so-called “highway.”

I unnecessarily stressed myself out upon arrival by stopping at SM City Baguio to pick up some perishables, and even managed to confuse myself further by acting as SMS go-between on a legal referral I’d passed on to an old friend (try to text, shop, and breathe at the same time). It was dark - a predicament I’d taken great pains to avoid - when I finally arrived at home, and aside from having to grope in the dark and take the dust covers off all the furniture, I had to lug all the contents of my car – yes, six very heavy loads of pots, pans, books, appliances, clothes, and whatnot – by myself. Up 30 steep steps (did I mention that the house is on a hill? Great view, hard hike!). I suddenly discovered muscles I never knew I had (only because they started to complain). But, in a case like this, what else is a girl to do but just…do (it)! And I did. HA!

Obviously I was out like a light and didn’t get up ‘til past nine the next morning. Today was a brand new challenge: several of the house lights were busted and I needed to change them. Now I have never changed a lightbulb in my life, and I must admit that I am severely retarded in my motor/spatial skills. The night before, I spent the good part of an hour trying to assemble an Ikea plastic bag receptacle (I couldn’t get the slots to “click” like the instructions said), for goodness’ sake, to no avail. I also tried to install one of those car anti-theft devices – the crowbar thing you lock onto your steering wheel – but could not do it to save my life. But! I managed to change three lightbulbs today – hurray! And all of them worked perfectly. With the help of a trusty stepladder, which is so EMPOWERING - I replaced the busted lights like a pro. Being vertically challenged and female has always been a hindrance. Once upon a time on a another continent, I lived with two men over 6 feet who did all that “manly” stuff so I didn’t have to, like change lightbulbs and fuses and reach stuff in high places. Then again, how often does a lightbulb or a fuse blow? I, on the other hand, got stuck with “womanly” chores like cooking meals, ironing their humungous clothes, and walking the dog at 6 a.m. (a “womanly” chore only because the men never EVER got up early enough to walk Savannah!).

Anyway, my lightbulb victory inspired me to take on a new challenge: change the flourescent ring bulb in one of the rooms. My luck quickly ran out: I couldn’t even get the freaking lamp off properly (the lock was rusted stuck onto the screw), and once I jimmied it off, I couldn’t get the darned thing to work even though I’d installed a new bulb AND a new starter. Oh well, Lex and Jeryc are coming over for the weekend, and they can probably figure that out - as well as teach me how to do that anti-theft thing. Yeah, men come in handy after all…sometimes.

posted by Honey Oliveros @ 2:33 PM